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The women were afraid that, if they revealed their previous experiences to their current boyfriends, they might lose his respect and thus damage the relationship.They may obtain an abortion if they do not want to marry him (at least at the moment).Any marriages prior to those ages were not accepted.[Source: Encyclopedia of Sexuality, 2.hu-berlin.de/sexology \*/ ] According to Proschan (1998), if men feared that marriage might complicate their lives, they tried to find a girl who did not see in them as the focus of her desires and demands.The social system in Southeast Asia is based on a system of moral debts and balances.The relationship between (married) women and men is not one between two individuals, but between two life projects, which depend on one another. [Source: Encyclopedia of Sexuality, 2.hu-berlin.de/sexology \*/ ] Contrary to Western notions, where feelings of guilt support freedom before marriage but faithfulness afterwards, in societies where shame and the notion of virgin marriage is operative, extramarital affairs outnumber premarital ones.Numerous articles have run saying the victims' family attempted to drop the case after Dung allegedly paid them US,000. 19, and Prime Minister Phan Van Khai officially fired him March 1, citing "special seriousness of his lawbreaking act." According to O’Harrow (1995), the polite term for a wife is noi tro ("interior helper"), the common, not-so-polite epithet is Noi Ttoung or "general of the interior." The women of Ha Dong in particular have a reputation for being fierce spouses that has gained them the nickname of Su Tu Ha Dong or "Ha Dong Lionesses." It is said about their husbands that they belong to a very ancient club, the Hoi So Vo or "Society of Men Who Fear Their Wives." Folk humor aside, it is a strategy to survive that motivates women to gain control of the family finances.Because the wife is in fact the backbone of the family, many families get into deep trouble or even break up when the wife/mother dies.

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In order to legalize sexual relations or to avoid the stigma of becoming "old maids" young Vietnamese women feel pressured into early marriages.

Nevertheless, all the women but one said that their boyfriend took the initiative to engage in sexual relations.

It was also not possible for them to introduce the subject of birth control, or to reveal that they had boyfriends before him.

Up to and through the French Colonial period, Vietnamese women were not regarded as nubile until about their 16th or 17th year.

However, according to the Ly-Ky ("The Book of Rites"), girls might marry after 14 years and men at 16.

As O’Harrow (1995) points out, Vietnamese women seldom have male friends, per se, because they have very few social mechanisms for dealing with men on an equal footing.



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