Reality of dating a banker
Its not something I accept for myself or for any of your girls. I can actively feel myself changing and growing and healing. We talked and he was really amazed/happy/impressed at how good I was. I was feeling really good, and every passing day I only felt better. I knew he was going to work and to therapy and I knew he was going out because people were calling me left and right to check up on me after hearing from H at party X or Y or Z that we had broken up. I'm not sure what to do, but I'm really done with being associated with him.If he is making you feel like a burden, something is wrong. Literally there are moments when I can feel the positive energy that I'm injecting into my life. I told him that I was glad he was okay and that it was a relief that all the horrible things that H thought would happen to him if we broke up, didn't. When I tell people it's been months they get a bit shocked.I literally feel like I'm floating above it and its so far in the past, and I'm not sure how I got here so quickly. Its kinda true, a lot of the issues I had with H are the same ones I had from day zero. He promised that he would be there in case H lost it or came looking for me or if I needed someone to intervene for any reason. Isn't it weird how weddings made me so tense when I actually had a boyfriend/fiance, and how they are completely peaceful and fun now that I don't? So I was working at the office one day, just peacefully, efficiently, and busily (is that a word? It was clear to me that I wouldn't be able to talk to the friend again (he and I were the type of friends who could talk about anything without judgement), and so I let it go and accepted that I couldn't possibly expect that H's only close friend would stay my friend as well. Didn't think I would want to meet him and I can't possibly think of anything that can't be dealt with remotely. I haven't checked H's location in more than 24 hours and I'm planning to keep it that way. I can talk about banking as if I was the one pulling the allnighters with the obnoxious VP. I was the girl who couldn't sleep because she was too worried about the guy who sat in the office at 4AM formatting a pitch. Had a long sit down with a good friend and this is the conclusion we came to.: people don't really change. I just chose to ignore some, and chose to pressure him to change others. Take them for who they are or don't take them at all! God that throws me off so much more than it should. But overall his opinion was to wipe the slate clean once and for all. The following day was the day I got the email from H. I assumed that the timings were somehow connected but I couldn't quite figure out how. I can sell the stocks and transfer the money, he can drop of my Macbook at the reception of my office or with any mutual friend who would be willing to pass it by my house. And sometimes I have a weird thought...would I ever date another banker? Most people know by now, and what's completely shocking is how many positive reactions I've gotten from people. Funky new boots and a red lipstick can really pick you up! I have zero doubts, I'm still healing and sometimes I worry about him, but I don't the miss relationship. I go to my old university and encourage students to apply for job openings. Another night I was checking his location and I discovered he was very close to my house. So many people have been telling me how amazing and peaceful and strong I look and seem and am. It's been some of the least stressful and most peaceful days I've ever had. I had this unexplainable urge to prove to everyone that they were wrong about him. Also he has my personal Mac Book because he wanted to learn to code for i OS on it.Obviously, its no way to judge but it was very surprising how no one seems surprised that we broke up, almost like it was inevitable and I was the only one who took so long to realize. He settled back into his old group of friends who I found to be very toxic during our university years, which is why I was never interested in connecting with them. I have a chaotic week of work coming up, but that's okay. I sent him a text a few days ago telling him that I agree we should sort out the logistics and to let me know what they are and I'll start working on them. It momentarily frustrated me, but then I figured that it was okay, and didn't matter. It was great bumping into younger students and some people my age looking to change jobs or career paths. It's a couple years old Mac Book and I'm willing to not get it back but I really don't know what to do about the money. Girls this will be a short one until I can get back to each of your comments individually.
Regardless, being K's friend completely demolished my years of thinking that my relationship with H was acceptable and that his behavior was something that I should accept. My friend who I have been going out with every so often who I'll now refer to as A was the one who planned the night and told me to come I bumped into a close common friend between H and I at the bar I was at. I told him that I knew he was fine because I was checking his location before I deleted him from Find my Friends.
I wondered if H's friend wondered if A was my rebound. A and I have a weird dynamic that even I don't understand. He never missed a birthday, never missed a funeral, never missed an occasion. I was expecting the emotional blackmail to resurface, and any opportunity to pull me back in to be seized. I notice the way he comes and finds me to talk or tease me. It's nothing I'm planning to act on and nothing I'm sure he will act on either, but I thought it was good to notice that I am at least allowing myself to feel that chemistry with another guy. I usually worry about H after 11pm and start to wonder if I should check his location to make sure he's okay. I figured he might have blocked my number so he wouldn't see any texts from me. On the contrary actually, all my flashbacks do is reassure me that I made the right decision. I still secretly check his location from time to time to make sure he's okay even though I no longer share my location with him. There's still one main pending point which I don't know what to do about.