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27-Sep-2017 11:25

You’re also more likely to have a social life that already revolves around going out and drinking (ir)responsibly, which suits being a singleton pretty well.I get the argument – and it’s part of what made me pause for thought during my last committed relationship – but more and more I’m questioning how much it holds water.You (and your dates) might well have a bit more disposable income, which takes some of the financial bite out of heading out to a new bar for drinks every few days.Plus, if you’ll pardon my French, you’re both more likely to have your shit together: to know what you want, to know how to be up-front about it, and hopefully to know how to handle all of the inevitable rejection that comes along with dating.You’ll hopefully have gotten out of bad habits like ghosting or standing people up. I mean, honestly that’s the whole basis on which I get paid to write this stuff.In short, you’ll basically be more of an adult, and so will they, and everyone will probably have a better time for it. None of us know exactly what we’re doing, we often get it wrong, and we’re all struck with a dumb sort of awe every time we come across one of those couples who just seem to somehow have it all figured out.

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According to pop culture media I’m supposed to be living life to the fullest, going to parties, loitering in bars, and sleeping with anyone and everyone who I can persuade to take their clothes off.

Nowhere is this more true than when it comes to romantic relationships. It may at first sound daft to suggest that anyone is going into long-term relationships out of little more than peer pressure, but there’s something to be said for it.

Enter a steady, long-term relationship – especially in your early 20s – and you face the common cultural notion that you’re wasting your best years, missing out on the chance to sow your wild oats, meet new people, and learn who you really are. Especially entering the second half of one's 20s, it can be all too easy to look around and worry that everyone else seems to be marrying off and settling down.

It’s an understandable anxiety, and one tapped often enough by pop culture.

No one wants to lag behind their peers, in careers or in relationships, and I suspect most of us have felt that niggling fear that we’ll be the last one left single, the only one among our friends still clinging onto our extended adolescence while the rest of them get on with being adults, whatever that means.

Because of your higher level of respect for your partners, yourself, and your relationships, you assume everyone else is as emotionally capable to do the same. A seemingly obvious point in favor of avoiding strong ties: sex is fun, and by extension sex with lots of different people should be even more fun.



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