Dating man disability
When I’m out on a date and I’m using my cane, it pisses me off that some people make it clear that they think my date is being noble for being with me.While I’m grateful for my friends and partners, as anyone is grateful for having people they love in their life, this isn't amazing—it's basic human psychology.As consultants, we do a range of advocacy work from basic access rights, to accommodations in the workplace and at school.But one of our biggest achievements has been opening up a discussion around what dating and intimacy looks like and feels like to someone with a disability.You start to wonder: Will anyone ever be able to accept me, disability and all? I almost made it my mission to defy my disability by finding ways to learn as much about physical intimacy as I could.No one really wanted to date me for longer than three months – apparently this is the threshold for realizing it was “too much” to date a girl in a wheelchair.
For once, I’d love to be the one who is “wanted” - pursued, flirted with.
We’ve also asked: What does this look like for those who are not disabled; who may have very little interaction with people with disabilities in their lives; who may have been misinformed, hold stereotypes, or are anxious and afraid of approaching the subject; or even those who have an aversion to disability.
And how can we start a conversation to change this? I was giving a lecture once and a participant stopped me to suggest I must not be emotionally invested in intimate relationships.
Who would want me if they knew I struggled to get up in the mornings?
Go ahead and check out a few of the things people have said to me and tell me I’m overreacting: Luckily, I've had partners who didn’t think this way, but I know plenty of people who do.
Andrew’s experience "I’m a wheelchair user with Cerebral Palsy. I was stunned, because this couldn’t have been further from the truth.